Rebecca Helps Counselling
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  • Counselling
    • Individual
    • Couple or Family
    • Children/Teens >
      • Children
      • Teens
    • Group
  • Bio
  • Rates
  • FAQ
  • Working Together
  • Mission & Values
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Blog
  • Covid-19
    • Covid-19 Individual
    • Covid-19 Group
    • Covid-19 Contact
  • Specialty Areas
    • Anxiety
    • Anger >
      • Anger Management Course
    • Grief & Loss
    • Self-Esteem
    • Relationships
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Children

Do you want to help your child but you aren't sure what to do?

Children like adults can benefit from counselling.
Childhood should be a time of joy and imagination and exploration for kids. Its a time of discovery and wonder. Discovering what they like and don't like by trying new things. Discovering how to play and relate to others build skills that will serve them as they grow up.

​Learning how to be part of a group and to share and build consensus while at the same time creating boundaries and their own identity is not an easy thing to do.

On top of learning to navigate the world (school, friends, activities, clubs, sports) children also need to learn how to engage with siblings, parents and extended family which can be a challenge. Every day life can be a challenge for some children, especially when we add individual circumstances like learning disabilities, health challenges, death and loss in the family, the relationship with parents, and other factors and it can be too much for some children and adults to handle.

How can counselling help?
As a counsellor I can help children to access and express their feelings, their fears and understand where these feelings are coming from and work with your child to frame their understanding of the situation. Children are selfish in the sense that they think the world resolves around them. If something happens they are the cause. It's because they did something wrong. A child thinks "Mom/ Dad/ Teacher/ Coach is upset, it's because of me".  Even if the adult doesn't blame the child the child will often end up blaming themselves. 

Counselling can help by being the counter to the child's natural inclination. It's important to keep in mind that all behaviour is either an act of love or a cry for love. This is very clear in children. Its easy to tell when children are acting from love. They share toys. They play fairly with each other.  They take turns being the lead and choosing the activity. They are kind to each other. Its also easy to tell when children are crying out for love. They are getting into fights while playing. They pester other kids to get a rise out of them. They don't listen. They grab and take. They bully. They cling to specific kids or adults. They are demanding. They want attention.  

This doesn't mean you don't love your children. You reading this page is proof that you love your children. The problem is that your child needs help navigating their feelings and beliefs in order to develop their inner sense of self and to know that they are loved. And to create a solid sense of self that will aid them in navigating the  world from a place of love instead of fear. 

What next?
If you think your child could benefit from counselling please contact me to book a 20 minute consult to help both of us figure out if I can be of help to you and your child. I would also encourage you to look at family and individual counselling.  Sometimes its hopeful for the child if the parent(s) and family in general develop the resources needed to engage with each other and the world in ways that are acts of love vs cries for love.
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.  — FREDERICK DOUGLASS
To learn more book a 20 minute consult by visiting our contact us page.
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