I recently read an article on www.theladder.com called Here’s why you’re never too old to make new friends by Caroline Zielinski and posted on October 25, 2019.
In this article Ms. Zielinski talks about the importance of friendships and how loneliness is a more serious health risk than smoking.
Growing up I struggled to make friends. I still do. It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm scared of the rejection. Which is something the author talks about in the article. I became a counselor after seeking help and support for my own issues. Prior to counselling the idea of putting myself out there was too big of a risk. It was safer to just stay home, alone and lonely then to risk the rejection. Even know as a counselor with a well developed sense of self and no longer living in a constant state of fear and anxiety over being rejected I am still hesitant to make the overture. To reach out and suggest to a potential new friend that we hang out. If she says no what does that mean about me.
The truth it doesn't mean anything about me unless I make it mean something. If she says no, I could make that mean there is something wrong with me, Or I could make that mean she isn't interest or available or maybe she is too scared, Who knows. I don't know what her no means.
Luckily I am choosing to over come my fears. Last week I reached out to twice to a new friend and both times she said yes and the result was I got out of the house and got to enjoy her company, have some great conversations and do something new.
If you are struggling to make new friends it might be time to ask yourself if you are scared of rejection and if you are making that rejection mean something about you then it's time to take a look at the belief and explore where it is coming from.
I love information. I love to read articles and to learn more. On this blog I will be sharing articles I find insightful and helpful with regards to stress, anxiety, loneliness and other related feelings. Occasionally I might even right an article myself. I hope you find these posts helpful.