I recently read an article titled Inside Russia’s Shady Seduction Schools, Where Desperate Women Learn How to Lure Rich Men which is interesting on many levels. But what I found partially interesting was the message Russian women are raised with which that their happiness is dependent on finding a husband and having a family. Its the message that happiness comes from obtaining something external. When reading this article is easy to see this message and see the predictable outcome. Spoiler alert... many of these women did not find happiness after securing a husband.
Its not about being married or not married. Its not about having kids or not having its. Its this idea that happiness is something we can obtain from outside ourselves. When I get that job promotion I will be happy. When I can afford my dream home I will be happy. When I can buy my dream car I will be happy. When I can take my dream vacation I will be happy. When my kids graduate from university I will be happy. When I have grand-kids I will be happy. I could on and on with all the external things people look for happiness in.
The only way to find happiness is by looking inwards. No one can be happy all the time. We are suppose to experience all emotions. And like Riley learned in Inside Out sometimes we can even feel two emotions at the same time. In my own life my nieces recently moved to New Brunswick. I am sad and I am miss them but I am also happy for my sister and her family as they are much happier living in a small and affordable community.
If you are looking for happiness externally it will be hard to find and if you find it that happiness will be short lived. Finding happiness inside is like finding a true renewal resource. Once you find it will always be there. It may get low but you can always refill your internal well of happiness.
To find inner happiness you need to figure out what is blocking. What fears, anxieties, mistaken beliefs are preventing you from experiencing happiness? You can also ask yourself how do you view the world. If the world is an unsafe and dangerous place it is going to be hard to find happiness. If you view the world as friendly it will be easier to find happiness.
The other week on a Friday night I got a small mason jar stuck in the cup holder of my couch. I was tried and I just wanted to drink a glass of wine and watch a show. I ended up having to take my couch apart (each seat section connects to each other). I had to turn the centre console upside down. All the junk I store in the centre hatch fell out. It was a mess. It was a lot of work. I could have been angry and upset and frustrated and mad (mainly at myself for getting the jar stuck). Instead I choose to look at the positive. I got the junk sorted and cleaned up which never would have happened otherwise and I got a nice workout in lifting the furniture. Because I view the world as friendly world it is easier to roll with the unexpected challenges in life.
The question is what comes first happiness on the inside and therefore it is easier to belief in a friendly universe. Or the belief in a friendly universe that then leads to finding inner happiness. The truth is its a bit of both. When we take a small step towards either it helps us to find the other.
If you aren't sure what is getting in your way of finding happiness then a first step you can take is asking for help. Its hard to figure out this stuff on our own.
I love information. I love to read articles and to learn more. On this blog I will be sharing articles I find insightful and helpful with regards to stress, anxiety, loneliness and other related feelings. Occasionally I might even right an article myself. I hope you find these posts helpful.